Adrenaline
by KDMOSP
Summary: You are skilled in your art, you have never been caught. But now you are dying and need to go out with a bang. You set your sights on a target, not knowing who she is. Not knowing the target you now have on your own back.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I'm trying. I really am... this is another JJ hurt fic, if you get sick of my JJ hurt fics, you do not need to read. If you think I'm doing even a tiny bit of a good job, please review. They really help**!

You are skilled in your craft having perfected it since your early years. You stole your first car at twelve, snorted your first line at thirteen, sold your first bag at fifteen and stabbed your classmate at seventeen.

It was in your blood, violence. It was engraved in your soul; it ran through your lineage as far back as you could trace. Your parents were idiots, and both have been caught during one of their crime sprees; they would be spending the rest of their lives in jail.

But not you, you were too smart to get caught. It was one of the aspects of your hobby that brought more fun to it; the adrenaline rush that would hit when you knew the cops were looking for you.

And sometimes, if you were feeling particularly confident, you would taunt the investigators. You would call them and brag about your crime with information you would know and watch as they spun themselves in circles trying to pin you.

It had never happened. Not in twenty-seven years.

But you were getting board. You were getting board and growing old; you had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. You had been given only months to live.

And you were going to go out with a bang. So, with your usual charm, you had politely told your doctor that while you appreciated her kindness and empathy, that you would rather spend time with your bucket list then stuck in a hospital room.

And you began planning.

Your MO is predictable, and its nothing that will get you in a movie or book and that is okay. You do not need notoriety; you just need the adrenaline rush. The rush that very few drug combinations could provide you anymore.

You had dappled in robbery and escalated to bank robbery but quickly became disinterested in it; it was too easy. It was too mind numbing there was no challenge. A carjacking proved pointless, so you escalated to armed residential robbery. And that was when you found your knitch.

You found your happiness, your adrenaline, your rush.

And then you combined the three. Bank robbery for the cash which led to a car jacking which lead to an armed robbery and just four days ago, a double homicide. It was your self-care; it was how you deal with your ultimate demise.

But it still wasn't big enough. You had to go out big. Your time was ticking.

And it took days of constant planning and more than a few thousand dollars to pay a contractor under the table for a soundproof basement. A few other alternations were paid for with cash earned from a simple bank robbery.

The research part was easy; you were able to gather the needed supplies.

Now, you had to find the perfect girl to pull of your most significant job.

And as you drive around the large city; your eyes immediately fall on a woman. And you know instantly that she was it. She was the one.

You pull over into the park parking lot, keeping your eyes on the woman as she grabs the hand of a small boy and begins walking with him to a parked SUV. It's getting dark outside and you realize she has somehow convinced the little boy to leave the park; he is skipping beside her and as luck has it, you have parked right next to her.

You take a deep breath and steady yourself before looking around. You see nobody else in the parking lot, its you and the small family. The woman looks up suddenly and you smile and wave before pretending to talk over your Bluetooth.

And as she unlocks her vehicle, you reach into your bag and grab your tool. You wait for the precise moment before opening your own door.

"Ma'am," You call after her, seeing her son secured in his car seat. "S'cuse me, ma'am," You hold out your hand with a standed phone in it. "Did you drop this?"

She reaches over to see if it is hers and you act quickly. With your other hand, you bring your arm forward and the gun down on the top of her head. She falls immediately, unconscious before she even hits the payment.

"Mommy!" The little boy screams, but you pay no attention. He is crying now but you do not care about him, he will be fine.

Bending down, you grab the woman and press a button, before dumping her into the van. You have a needle in your hand and shove it into her neck, forcing the sedative into her system.

"Sleep well baby," You coo before hoping into the drivers seat and driving away without a second glance. And the child's hysterical voice becomes quieter and quieter as you take his sweet mommy away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you so much for the reviews! Please review this as well. There is a chance there is a character death. I have not decided yet.**

You whistle as you meander through the extravagantly decorated aisles at the local superstore. It's a convergence of holidays all at once, your mother used to refer to it as Hallathanksamas; and would roll it all into one.

Your extended family would congregate at your home and celebrate all three holidays. You distinctly remember dressing up as a super villain as you exchanged gifts with your cousins and family and then enjoyed a Thanksgiving meal.

The scents in the store bring back the memories and you yearn to celebrate again. And you know this will be your last one; so you plan to go out big. You grab a hefty amount of full-sized candy bars to pass out to the trick or treaters tonight. You do love seeing all the children dressed in costumes and they love you.

You are infamous in your neighborhood as the old man who goes all out for the holidays. Your home is always decorated top to bottom for Halloween and Christmas. You would typically set up a haunted house but because of current circumstances, you could not allow anyone inside.

The blood was everywhere.

And then you pause and a grin spreads across your face.

It was Halloween. Halloween meant everything spooky and scary.

The blood would just be considered a prop; nobody would ever know the difference. And your smile grew bigger as you realized the opportunity that had just presented itself.

You would have to spend more money then you originally planned but it was worth it. This was your last Halloween after all.

You hum as you collect various items, not worrying about a thing and excited about your newfound plans. You are engrossed in the details of the gory costumes when you bump headlong into a woman and send her to the ground.

"Ma'am!" You reach down and help her up, she gratefully accepts your hand as you pull her to feet. "Ma'am, I am so sorry!" You express watching as she briefly closes her eyes.

"It's okay, I am a klutz!" She smiles and suddenly wobbles, you reach over to steady her and she grabs your waist instinctively. "Thank you, I am so sorry!" She utters again and you see a man come around the corner.

"There you are!" She turns to him and smiles.

"I ran into this nice man, literally. He was just helping me stand back up!"

"Again ma'am, I apologize"! You back away as the man you presume is her husband reaches over and pulls her towards him. "Are you sure you are okay?"

She nods and trots off with the man, laughing as she does.

You shake your head at the odd situation before heading to the check out line. $450.00 you head home, excited to decorate for Halloween.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

It was a record-breaking Halloween for you; you lost count of how many people ran through your house enjoying the decorations. You ran out of the full seized candy bars and you ran out of energy. Those precious kids would miss you and you would miss them.

The "fake" blood had been a real hit; the scream track had your regulars in terror at the authenticity of it. If they only had any idea.

You are just sitting down in your old man chair when the power suddenly shuts off. "Damn it!" You roll your eyes and with a grown stand back up, you are getting too old for this up and down nonsense. You start digging in drawers for the flashlight when a noise catches your attention and you spin around to look out the window and notice that your neighbors have power. That is odd.

You have no time to react. Suddenly, there is a loud bang, many of them, shouting and smoke is everywhere. What the hell is happening? You are thrown to the ground instantly and feel someone yank your arms behind you.

Its over in seconds, your caught.

And now the real game begins.

You are lifted to your feet and escorted outside, and to a waiting black SUV; blue and red lights flashing and bouncing off the homes. You are shoved inside and you get your first look at the person arresting you.

It's the woman from the store; the one you knocked down. The man you thought was her husband appears behind her and you notice that both of them are wearing vests with FBI written on them.

"We meet again." You grin at the woman.

She glares at you. "Where is she?"

You raise your eyebrows, "where is who?"

"Where is Agent Jareau?"

And you laugh. "That's your job to find her. Not mine."

And you know they will never find her, not alive. Because while she might still be breathing, you know she is almost out of time. And you have leverage.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you so much for the reviews, they always help! Again- there is a probable character death in this one. **

You sit in a small barren room, having been escorted into the room only after another pat down. Your hands that had been cuffed behind you were briefly released, only to be cuffed to the underside of the table you were sitting at. The table itself was bolted to the concrete floor, as was your chair. The table was metal; and devoid of any fingerprints. But you were not stupid, like hell you were going to lift your hands and place them on the table… you were not leaving your prints for them.

A light flickers over head and you sigh before scanning the room again; there is approximately forty ceiling tiles, three light bulbs, two cameras and two "mirrors." You roll your eyes and scoff; mirrors your ass. You know those are two ways and that the FBI is sitting on the other side.

You smile and stare at it, before giving it a wink. You will play their game as long as you can. And only when your body starts giving out, when you know death is imminent, will you give them the details there are desperate for. The details about their friend, the details only you know.

You are not sure how long you are sitting there, and your legs and arms are starting to go numb when the door swings open and two men walk in. You recognize both of them from the raid on your house.

"Gentleman" You nod at them. Neither responds but one steps forward with a large file in his hand. He slams it down causing a reverberation in the table that rattles your wrists and arms. "Easy killer," you laugh at him. His expression remains stoic.

You watch as he sits down in front of you. "Do you know who I am?" He asks, his voice is low.

"Considering you have not introduced yourself, I am going with no."

"My name is Agent Hotchner, I am with the FBI." He glares at you and you glare right back. The FBI does not frighten you.

"And?" You reply. You can tell he is doing everything not to lose his cool on you and you are playing him well.

He opens the folder in front of him and glances down at a piece of paper. "You have been living in this city for years, I am guessing you have had access to the news, social media, newspapers?" You nod, you aren't a hermit after all. "Then you know what recently occurred just a few miles from your home."

"Agent, no offense, but a lot has occurred there recently. Just last week there was two deadly car accidents; a store was robbed, a house caught fire…"

"And a federal agent was abducted from the park she was at with her son."

Your face cracks into a grin. "Yes, I heard about that as well."

"Agent Jareau has been missing for a month now; her family needs her back."

Your eyes widen, "Then what are you doing here instead of looking for her?"

You swear you hear his intake of breath. "Where. Is. She?" It is direct and for the briefest of moments, he scares you.

"How would I know?" You glare back at him.

"We have you, we know you abducted her…"

"If you know I did it, why did it take the FBI so long to find me?" He shifts just a bit and you grin. "You don't have anything. You are grasping at straws, hoping to pin this on a dying man."

"We've had you on our radar for the last few days; connected the dots between bank robberies and the double homicide. You left your DNA when you abducted Agent Jareau at that park. Your fingerprints were left on her blood we found on the ground. Our computer analyst was able to use that evidence to link the crimes and from there we found out your identity."

You laugh, "that's very good agent. Very good; I will admit to the robberies and the double homicide but as far as that agent goes… well, looks like your shit out of luck."

He licks his lips and glares. "You bumped into one of my agents at the store yesterday; we staged it all." He reaches into his pocket and withdrawals a small canister. Inside is a small chip. "Agent Prentis slipped this into your pocket when you helped her stand. It's a GPS, we tracked you. It also allowed us to hear everything. Including that audio track, you played during your little haunted house. We knew the screams were hers and our tech was able to confirm it. So, I will ask you again, where is Agent Jareau?"

You stare at the chip; how could you have been so naïve. They were good, you would give them that. "What do I get out of this?"

"A chance to live." He hisses at you.

And you laugh and lean back. "Well unless you have the cure for terminal cancer, that's not very much. I have less then six weeks to live." And you smile again. "Which means you have less then six weeks to ever find her because once I die, she'll never be found."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: This isn't going to be a long story, in fact, it is nearing the end. I will say PLEASE continue to read after this chapter; it starts a bit weird but keep going!**

You sit across from Agent Hotchner, watching the frustration building in his eyes. It has been exactly three days since they dragged you in and they know they are no closer to finding their precious friend. They are in a state of constant chaos, they know time is ticking rapidly. They know that there are few options left and you smile as you see them franticly trying to piece something, anything together.

"What did you do once you abducted her?" Agent Hotchner asks you for the tenth time, trying to trip him up.

You sigh and roll your eyes. "Fine. Fine, I give up since you are not going to." You lick your lips and lean in. "But I want a tradeoff."

"Such as?"

"I will give you her location on the condition that my name is never released to the media in relation to this." You are playing the game. "I know I will never go to trial and so do you; you want your agent back; you guarantee that my name is not released. For the sake of my family…"

Agent Hotchner glares at you, "You have no family." It is a growl.

You laugh. "Family doesn't always mean blood, agent."

He takes a deep breath and steps outside. You know he is considering it. He comes back in after nearly an hour before looking at you. "I am not playing games with you; you take me Agent Jareau and I will not release your identity."

You smile and nod. "Very well agent, but I'll need a wheelchair."

"I never said you were leaving this jail cell; you just tell me where she is. We will go out there ourselves."

"Get me a map then."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You wait patiently as the agent retrieves a large map and returns half an hour later with his team. He spreads it out over the large table and glares at you.

You stare at the map and take a deep breath before pointing to one spot in particular. "This is as close as I can get you from a map. So, listen closely because I will not say this more than once. The road only goes until this point," you point to a specific part on the map, "you'll need mounted patrol and four wheelers from that point on. Two miles in, the trail forks, go to your left and follow the creek." You trace your finger along the water marked on the map, occasionally looking up at the agent. You take a dramatic deep breath before looking up at him. "She is in the field a few feet after that."

And you see the fire burn in his eyes at the realization of what you just told him. He spins on his heal and his team follows him. As they are walking out the door, you hear the agent on the phone. "Garcia, let the local police know we need their search and rescue teams, and chopper. I'll send you the location."

As they rush out the door, as thunder roars overhead, you lean back in your chair and smile. "Damn fools."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You are sleeping in your cell when you hear shouting and your jail cell being unlocked. You open your eyes to see Agent Hotchner staring back at you; the anger you see in his expression frightens you for just a moment as he thunders towards you.

"Hotch," one of his team grabs his arm and stops him. "Stop." She whispers. "We have him, Hotch."

You look at both of them, both filthy and covered in earth and water. Mud and dirt is caked in his hair and shirt. You start laughing at the realization of what has occurred.

"I am guessing you found her?" You sit up, smiling. There is silence, pure silence. And you know they are screaming internally at what they found.

You are dragged back into the interrogation room; the clock on the wall says its just past three AM. You sit and wait for what feels like hours. Your growing thirsty and hungry and tired. Pain is spreading throughout your body the longer you sit in the chair. And you realize it has been hours before the door is flung open again and Agent Hotchner walks in. He has changed his clothes and washed his face, but you can tell he has been crying.

"Yes, agent?" You whisper.

"We found her body in the exact location you told us. We recovered her body…"

"You mean what is left of it." You laugh.

"The remains we recovered match the description of what Agent Jareau was wearing; the clothing we found around the body matches what she was wearing. However, we will need an autopsy to determine and verify that those remains are of Agent Jareau."

"I told you where they were, correct? Who else could it be?" You cough and pain radiates down your body; it's the beginning of the end.

"What did you do to her?" His voice is low and pained. "She was a mother, friend, a wife and you took all of that away for what?"

"You don't want to know." You reply, enjoying the control you have right now.

"I am going to find out anyway; my agent is dead at your hands."

"Yes, that is true." You concede. "You should have given in long ago, agent. She was dead before you knew she was missing. And you spent a significant amount of wasted time on a dead body." Your breathing is labored now, and it is beginning to increase your anxiety. And you know the agent knows you are struggling, but he does not move to help. "I.. need… a doctor." You gasp, suddenly dreading your own mortality.

"I will get you a doctor when you tell me what you did to my agent."

You swallow, now desperate for oxygen. "Buried her… alive… waited…. And moved… the… body…" And then you black out.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

There is beeping noises all around you and a tickle at your nostril. You crack open your eyes and see the familiar surroundings of a hospital room. Your hands are cuffed to the bed and a guard stands at your door.

"You're awake." You jump at the voice and see Agent Hotchner in the room.

"How long…"

"Two days." He replies. "DNA came back on the body we recovered; it was not Agent Jareau." You see relief in his eyes. "I still have you on murder and kidnaping." And he turns on his heal and leaves the room before turning back. "And the deal is off, but nobody will ever know your name. I will bury it and make sure that you get no notoriety for this. You will die without a speck of infamy; you will die alone without any family by your side. And not one person will ever speak your name again. You will be forgotten before your body reaches the morgue. We will find my agent and she will get the notoriety, the infamy, her name will never be forgotten, and she will have the burial she deserves. Her family and friends will be there, the media will be there, and she will be memorialized forever. Unlike you- she will be laid to rest with everything while you will be buried in a pauper's grave with no headstone. I've made the arrangements and that grave is in the middle of nowhere, where not a soul will come and visit you. Your name dies with you and according to the staff here, that will happen sooner than later." He pauses again. "My agent is who took you down, Anthony, Agent Jareau was your downfall and she will be celebrated as the hero she was; the hero who led to a murdering son-of-a-bitch whose name will never be uttered again."

And he slams the door shut, leaving you speechless.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: DONE! Please review. This one is long but it was one chapter or a few short ones. Thank you!**

There is pain. Everywhere. It radiates throughout your body causing you to gasp as it feels as fire is rushing through your veins. Nothing is helping; the strong pain medication is only slightly relieving it; it isn't enough to even allow you to sleep for minutes at a time.

You are exhausted, in pain… and alone. You've always prided yourself on being independent, never needing people. There was no need for them, not when you could handle everything on your own; but now, now you are starting to rethink that.

You have visitors; but you have no connection to them, and they have nothing to you. They are staff in the hospital; the FBI will not allow any volunteers in the room. So, you don't even have a sweet old lady sitting next to you telling you about her childhood. About once every hour a nurse will come in and check on you; fluff your pillows and ask if you need anything.

But that is it. And you are so alone. You are dying alone and suddenly it hits you; how awful this feels. Nobody would be with you as you took your last breath; nobody will cry over you or ask to remain with you just a bit longer. Nobody will be present for a burial and you will not even have a funeral. Nobody will leave flowers at your grave, nobody will visit. You will simply fade from existence and you will never be remembered. There is nobody to remember you. You have no connection to anyone.

Another horrific stab of pain shoots through your body and you arch your back, waiting it for it to pass; tears form in your eyes. It seems to go on forever and when you relax you hear a soft voice. Your blood turns to ice as you immediately know who is talking to you.

"Anthony…" She whispers and you look to see her standing next to you. Looking beautiful, looking just like she did moments before you grabbed her.

"No… no, you are not here." You shake your head, refusing to believe what you are seeing.

"I am here, Anthony." She replies and walks towards you. And as she walks closer, you start to see the injuries on her. The horrid injuries you gave her. "My team is here; they are looking for me…" She explains, "Just like I promised you they would."

You take a deep breath recalling just how she had warned him that the FBI would come for him. "What.. what do you want from me?" You gasp, it is getting harder to breathe.

"Tell them where to find me; give them some closure." She replies, "let them bring me home. Do at least one good thing in your life."

You hiss again as another bout of pain hits. "Make it stop…" You beg, wanting the pain to stop. "Please make it stop."

She walks towards you with a smile on her face and gently, carefully, places her hand on yours. And the pain vanishes, and your body relaxes into the soft bed. "Why.. why did you do that?"

She half smiles at you, "Because, I am not you Anthony, I can't watch people suffer; including you." Her hand remains on yours, soft and gentle.

You swallow, not understanding why she is doing this. "I tortured you; I left you for dead…"

She nods. "You did, you took me away from everything; my family, my team, my job. My dignity, you took that from me. But you cannot take away my willingness to protect life, even the most pathetic one. If I can give you relief from your suffering, after everything you did to me; I will give it to you. Nobody deserves to suffer, Anthony." And you notice that you have not felt any pain since you have been conversing with her.

"How much longer do I have?" You whisper, lifting your own hand and placing it on top of hers. She doesn't flinch like she normally would.

"Not long, Anthony. But you still have some time, enough time to tell Hotch what you did to me." She smiles again. "I need to go now, Anthony." She pulls her hand away and the pain comes back full force and you scream. She backs away and you watch as she stands in a corner; your mind desperate to figure what is going on.

And then Agent Hotcher walks in; he walks straight to you. Your eyes dart from the woman to the agent and back. He cannot see her; only you can.

"You can't see her?" You ask, staring in the corner.

"See who?" The agent asks, following your gaze.

"Jennifer. She's… she's here." You point to the corner, convinced about what you are seeing. And then, just like that, she vanishes.

"Agent Jareau is still missing, Anthony."

You look up at him and back again before staring down at your hands. Your time is almost up; the woman you had tortured gave you momentary peace, a break from the pain. You bring your hand to your mouth and make your decision.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You close your eyes, having given Agent Hotcher the information, and when you open them again, you are standing. You are pain free, you are strong, and you know you have died. It must have been minutes after you had given the information up.

"Anthony," You spin around and see Agent Jareau staring back at you.

"I did what I could… I should have never…" You cry and steps towards you and once again grabs your hand.

And everything comes back. But it is different, you are watching from her point of view, watching as she sees you for the first time, you are in her mind, watching and now feeling everything, you had done to her.

You are feeling her fear, her hope and feeling as that hope slowly decreases. You feel the hunger and thirst she felt, and the absolute pain you put her through. And you feel the urge to vomit and what you had done.

Suddenly, her hand is pulled away. "That's enough…" She whispers.

"I did that to you; I did all of that to you." She nods and motions for you to follow her.

She sits down on the floor and you follow her gaze; you follow what she is watching.

It's Agent Hotcher and his team; they have surrounded your hide out. There are tons of men and women outside, searching your property. You know exactly where she is, where you left her. And you watch as the FBI searches and searches, digging up plots of land and grass.

And standing up, you have to find a way to direct them to her, to where you left her. You pace back and forth, willing Agent Hotchner to find the hidden cellar, to find her.

"C'mon man!" You shout down at them, growing increasingly frustrated at their inability to find the hiding place. You turn to ask Jennifer for help, but she has vanished. It is just you now.

They are nowhere close, they are heading the opposite direction of where you left her. And you are powerless. You drop to your knees and do the only thing you can think of doing.

And for the first time in your life, you pray. You pray the team can be lead to her, can find her. You apologize for everything you have done and accept all punishment that will head your way- you will take anything, as long as the agent is found. And when you are done, done crying and praying, you watch again as Agent Hotchner himself falls to the ground, on his knees, frustrated. He slams his fist into the ground and shouts, desperate to find his agent. And he looks up and sees it, the slightly disturbed earth.

"Yes! Follow it!" You shout, jumping up and down as if you were watching your favorite sports team winning their championships.

And he does, he follows the earth to a small area where a trap door is buried; the wind blows the leaves and sticks away, and he sees it.

"Over here!" He screams and begins digging into the cellar. The other agents join him, and you watch as they are silent, watch as they all work and watch as they find the door, and throw it open. You hold your nonexistent breath and they descend the dirt staircase. Hold your breath as they call for their friend.

You turn your head when they find her, find her on the ground, chained to the wall without clothes. A water trough is nearby, enough for her to be able to reach it; no water remains. She had not eaten since you had been arrested.

You watch as the agents slowly turn her over, checking for her pulse. And you know the answer, you know the result. And it looks as the team does as well.

Carefully, she is released from the metal chains and falls into Agent Hotchner's arms, her head rolling into his chest. Another agent sheds his jacket and places it over his friend. They carefully leave the cellar and lay her down on the ground.

Dirt covers her body, her legs and arms are bloody and filthy, the burns are undoubtedly infected, her left leg is broken. You did all of this.

"JJ, open your eyes." You hear Agent Hotchner command. "JJ, we have you. We are here."

"Anthony," You turn to see her standing next to you.

"I thought.. are you dead?"

She doesn't answer you but watches the scene below. "They found me." She smiles. "I am going home." And she vanishes.

You watch below as suddenly her body starts coughing and she starts fighting.

"JJ, it's Hotch. We have you, JJ. You're safe."

She relaxes into his body, shivering as the medics arrive. You watch as she flinches at touch, watch as she tries to stay away but falls into a deep sleep as she is covered with blankets. And for the first time, you see her sleep peacefully.

You see her protected and you see her safe.

And you will make sure nobody harms her again.

Somehow, you feel it is your duty to become her guardian angel. And for the next sixty years, you hold your post. You redirect a bullet headed her way, make sure she sees the car heading her way and get her out of the path, you are there when a cancer diagnosis threatens her life and you are there when she is declared in remission.

And when she falls asleep many years later and does not wake up; you fade into the shadows. She will never know you were there, desperately trying to make up for the mistakes you had made in your life.

And you can only hope it is enough.


End file.
